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May 5, 2016

The honor of knowing the pain of love… One Side Project Challenge

Last month we launched a simple survey at loveslices.com asking people about their relationship experiences, past and present. Even though we’re starting with a small sampling the brutally honest responses have only increased the desire to help. The data is anonymous and appears in our system with absolutely no identifying connections, we don’t ask for emails, names, location… While this may reduce the scientific validity the hope is that people who take the time to fill out these questions are doing so out of a desire to help. It is an amazing honor to be on the receiving end of this survey so thank you to anyone who has taken a few minutes to let us know what’s working and what’s not.

There are two main questions being asked once logistics are handled. The first one being ‘What would you like to ask your partner that you haven’t, yet.’ Some of the replies include:

“Are you settling for me?”
“Do you ever regret marrying me?”
“I am curious why you so seldom initiate sex with me?”
“What is it about me that you can’t live without?”

This is then followed by ‘What do you think your partner would like to ask you?’ — By definition reaching in to someone else’s psyche and making assumptions may be dangerous but I think we all have inklings of what is going on when it is close to our hearts — Some replies include:

“Do you have any regrets?”
“I really wouldn’t know what’s on his mind.”
“Why did you leave me?”
“…the fact that I don’t know what he would like to ask me concerns me…”

So far the survey is revealing a mix of experiences that seem to illustrate couples that freely communicate with one another, and those that could use a little help. This is exciting and fascinating at the same time as it really is helping us shape the initial tools that loveslices will launch with.

It’s heart warming to read a question like “What is it about me that you can’t live without?” and thinking about what would happen if these two people knew that of each other. A simple question with such deep ramifications.

The survey is revealing both the pain of not knowing, being uncertain and wondering if they are both in the same place in their love. But also it reveals the aspirations that I believe we all have do deepen our connections to one another. If I am not mistaken it is human nature to love and be loved, and it seems that by knowing each other we can all do a better job of this… which in turn just creates more love and understanding (even if the understanding is that we’re not with the right person for us at the current time of our lives).

70% of respondents said that balancing kids/home/work and having quality time together alone would make them feel closer.

Not surprising, and exactly why we want to build loveslices. Modern life is naturally just not supportive of sustainable, loving relationships. And I believe if we find support in using a myriad of tools to help us better manage our finances, businesses, health & fitness with positive results, then why not our most important relationships.

Bottom line — this is SUPER exciting, moving, an honor to witness, and adds so much fuel to the fire of why I wanted to start this project in the first place.
If you have the inkling PLEASE, PLEASE share this article, and/or the survey with whomever you feel might like to spend a couple of minutes filling it out. The more submissions we get the stronger this is going to be…

Until next month!

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